Life in fast motion

It's been awhile since I blogged so I thought I should get back into the hang of it. This summer is the first time I have been home and I am finding I have a lot of time to do a lot of things I've wanted to do for awhile now. 

We finished up our masters school last Fall and it has been amazing to be done with it... so so nice. I am grateful to have continued my education that far but am for sure not looking at going back or going any further. We have had a lot of things happen the last year that have shaped and changed the way I view the world and myself. I have always had the personality of someone who just go's and go's and rarely takes a break. I was so nervous to be done with masters school and be bored and not have anything to challenge me. In August I decided it would be really awesome to get an exchange student and to have them live with us. Mark being Mark knew he married a semi insane lady so when I told him I was being serious he knew I was. But me being Jocelyn couldn't just get one student I had to get two. Two weeks later we doubled our number of children and our girls moved in. It was a great experience but definitely stretched me in more ways than I could have imagined. It was so difficult learning to parent teenagers while trying to finish masters school and still be a "cool" mom who cooked. I think this year is the first time I have honestly reached my breaking point. This year I learned that I need to learn to slow down or I am going to drown. I hate even saying that because it makes me feel so weak but it really is the truth. I have a really hard time being vulnerable or wrong about things in front of people and this year has for sure brought that to my attention. It's good for me though. 

We couldn't make up our mind on whether or not we should build or buy this cute house in Sugar City but we ended up going with the cute mama blue house in Sugar. I really like living in Sugar and love the lay out of the house. I thought that maybe by feeling more permanent I would be more willing to make friends in the neighborhood or semi enjoy going to church. We have only been here 3 months but I am finding that's not really the case. I have a super hard time at church not feeling like I really fit in or fit the "Mormon mold" and that hasn't really changed since I moved here. More my issues than others but it does hold me back from really gaining and maintaining church relationships. I just think differently than the average relief society ladies and work which kinda sets me as an outcast to begin with. Paxton and Finnley are growing like weeds and have so much personality and are so much fun to be around. They have been keeping me on my toes and know exactly how to wear me out by the end of the day. I am shocked at how smart they are and am so thankful for good babysitters that have helped me so much in raising them. Finnley has a lot of attitude and will sass me back but then can be so sweet and snuggly. Paxton is loving warm water and staying busy with games. We moved his room upstairs when the girls left and he is really loving being up there and thinks he is a super big boy. 

I am excited to start writing again and to share my thoughts on our everyday life. I think the number one thing I have learned this year is to slow down and enjoy small and simple moments. I have missed out on so many of those lately and can't wait to spend the summer looking for them.